“And that visibility which makes us most vulnerable is that which also is the source of our greatest strength. Because the machine will try to grind you into dust anyway, whether or not we speak. We can sit in our corners mute forever while our sisters and our selves are wasted, while our children are distorted and destroyed, while our earth is poisoned; we can sit in our safe corners mute as bottles, and we will still be no less afraid.” - Audre Lorde , The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action
this morning, i’m making soup. thinking about the funny things my kids have done this week. I am also thinking about how I am NOT going to join in any internet challenges. I never complete them. I find this frustrating because I do complete many goals but I just can’t seem to do anything for an audience…of even one. maybe, it’s my body’s way of saying…this an’t it chief. maybe I just don’t function well with internet things like that. And it’s okay. Actually, it’s more than okay…it’s just me being me.
so I stir the soup. it’s aroma and colors make me smile.
I see the cover of my journal, smudged with charcoal and watercolors and who knows what, the onions are sizzling and the elm, maple and sugar gum trees outside my windows are looking breathtaking. I am happy for the show of color. it makes me remember that things keep going. It also makes sigh because I am tired. I am tired of the news and countering the news and the heaviness of grief and injustice. I am tired of the darkness but it there and I am here and there… someplace in between with a dirty hands and a donut pillow.